I don’t want incest to define me

This blog is about our multiple identities and how I try to find comfort in the fact that others deal with similar emotions and thoughts–even though life has dealt them a different hand. In other words as a victim of incest I don’t have a monopoly on the thoughts and feelings in my blog. Other people feel shame, are afraid that they’ll somehow be “found out”, grieve, or rage at ill treatment and injustice.

10 random ways I could define myself


  1. I tick the (inadequate) box “Black British”
  2. Have borderline personality disorder
  3. Am academically successful and have a cognitive raft that would float an oil tanker
  4. Was eventually adopted into a white family
  5. Received a private education and went to University
  6. Have emotional dysregulation according to the jargon–in other words I just don’t get how to work them
  7. Was sexually abused by my father
  8. Founded a successful company goddardconsultants.com
  9. Under a psychiatrist
  10. Am loved by my friends and those closest to me but 6 above means that I don’t “really understand why”

And working to integtate all these parts of me…..

If you’re a survivor I hope some of what I say resonates with you:





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