Stop paying me compliments. Please.

Here’s a very short recording and below is a summary:

What is it about a compliment that sends my blood pressure soaring?

Here’s what it feels like:

  • Out of my mind
  • Outer body experience
  • Watching myself choking on your compliments
  • I feel physically sick when you compliment me

So please. Just don’t do it.


Here’s the flip side:

  • If you don’t compliment me then I think I’m no good at all
  • I feed on compliments and need the adoring masses

(I know all that stuff about intrinsic validation need to approve of ourselves and not look outwards constantly. I tell people this in my seminars and cognitively I so know it’s true.)


But let’s get back to being complimented. I think it relates to an earlier post about the imposter syndrome. The scripts that run like this

  • I don’t deserve it
  • If only you knew the truth
  • You’ll find me out you’ll find me out some time


Oh here are some good ones……

  • I haven’t done anything special
  • I’ve just done my job


So what can I do about it?

I’m going to practise, practise, practise ….

So the next time I get a compliment I’m going to smile and just say thank you. Then I’m going to say to my little me:

…”see you deserved that. It’s a real achievement. Well done you!”

What do you think about compliments? How have you learned to accept them? Have you always accepted them?



PS the photo is of my beloved black and white border collie Tikka when she appreciated the company of a perfect stranger.